Monday, March 30, 2009, 11:27 PM
Not my forte.
Hey guys (: It's been an amount of days not blogging. I'm doing well. I picked up on math and bio. Physics' still Greek to me. Well, i should have dreamt the same thing when Naq said, "Pure bio, wait for me." Then it would be a hell load of stress on one an not two.Holidays were fine .. Minusing
all the din in the house. I should've
gone camping instead, too bad i didn't. Met the gang and went swimming a hung out and stuff. Usually boring stuff. Met Bard and went to Mars' Garden and CWP
.It's a new day for the week. Started off pretty okay. Ended okay too.
Fortunately, there was no Lit, so the stress level decreased by a number of percentage. There was Art, and i always looked forward to it, no matter how stressed i was. I love Art, i just can't bring myself to hate it even if it destroys my brain. For Art, we received our FIRST CANVAS. Small in size but damn, rough painting, so not my forte. Did it anyways, learnt a thing or two on the strokes and overlaps. Oh-oh, I forgot, today, i sat alone. Because everyone was absent. Erica and that bloody K-L. Then Feeqah
got dance, so i sat alone. Ms. Fernandez asked me questions, of course I was afraid to answer, but i just did. Less excruciating pain.After school
, met Bard. Me and Bard's supposed to catch 'The Unborn', but the tickets weren't with me. Sad sad sad .. But we changed plans and went to CWP
to walk around. Bard treated me to Mac cause i said i was hungry. (Bard always belanja
me to EVERYTHING) Then we headed to the library at Civics and i read a cookbook. I was in the middle of jotting the recipe down when Bard said he wanted to send me home. Tried taking photos of the recipe to save time but it was a failure :PIn the bus
, i acted crazy and joked around. I made faces at Bard and smelt someone's hairclip. (I wasn't aware of it till i remembered i didn't use clips.) I did it on purpose because Bard's having MC tmr till Thurs. So I won't be able to punch him and make jokes of him till Friday. Sad sad sad .. I bet i'm the only one who understands what the fugg i just said.
There's Lit tomorrow
and I'm watching the movie tomorrow, without Bard. Yay me. Bard, dont cry during Motivational Camp. Will miss you and your ugly face. Love you Bardot.Will write my daily boring shits again.SOON.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009, 12:37 PM
For what it seems like an eternity.
I've been going on, on how life's unfair and stuff and you'd think I've gone Emo
and all but I'm not. I've been going through some unexpected events and they're things that never occurred, would be happening to me. All the commotion, it's very surprising and I'm dreading, every single step of it. It's excruciatingly slow and every part seems to get even harder. I don't know if this calamity is a lesson to be learnt or if it's a process of growing up. Or if it's just a broken marriage that breaks our family apart.
People look at how happy i am and they never would have thought that someone like me would have a wreckage for a life. My parents are on the brink of a divorce. My granny's forgetting so much and she's almost blind. It hurts that every thing's happening at the same time. My results are out, it's obvious i failed brilliantly, and the aftermath doesn't seem any more wonderful. They hit me, they question my sexuality, they swore on me, they throw every single blame on me. I try not to think about it but trying is much more of pretence when everything is already there, neatly placed on a mat for you to observe. It's obvious, its reality. It brings me down. It makes me hate myself for being in my own shoes. Sometimes i just want to end my life but it's stupidity that arouses me to do so. It's just part and parcel of life, and i accept it. I didn't
look at things like i used to. I don't think I'll love my parents the same but I didn't
have to sit around and hold my breath, waiting for it to stop. Because i made a change.
Thank god I have support, all the pillars i may need. It's clear that misfortune happens but it's clearer that I'm the one with that perspective and i can change how i see it. I'm commencing the change. The phrase, "No one's perfect," now appeals to me like chocolate.
Thank you Hasroy
, you made an awesome change in my life. Though you cant get the right things to say at times, you try your best to comfort me with those words from your heart. And i love you for helping me in this process.
Thank you Ashhy
, for your encouragement and all those small things that you did. You're a wonderful person and I thank you for being my best friend
Thank you Mira, for showing me sympathy (which clearly wasn't needed but thank you). And for missing me and spending time with me. Like always, being the best friend
Thank you, everyone else who had empathy and helped me. I couldn't go through such things without you guys.XOXO
Friday, March 13, 2009, 10:31 AM
Its apparently pointless.
Its almost equally possible for someone to say they've forgiven you but turn their backs on you on one occasion. Because life's full of unexpected events.
I've always loved blogging and i've never regretted any of my post. Because this blog, is what my mind has to say. Its my own world of words. Though it may hurt people in some process, i think it's reasonable enough to be read. It's contents are less than explicit but more than your daily outcome. I believe you don't get what the freak i'm trying to say or maybe you dont give a bloody damn but heck, here's what i've got to say.
Hello, my name is Diyanah. I'm currently 15 years of age. My name may sound typical but i doubt it speaks for who I am. Everyone calls me, Anna. Well, almost. Some acknowledge me by, Banana. Because my name rhymes. I'm straightly NOT a malay. I was born mixed Pakistani and Thai. Yes, i know, what an unusual mixture. I love the multi raciality in Singapore because we're all so very different. Therefore, I'm not a racist.
I love English because everyone uses it, it's and international language which one should speak often. I really detest Malay language, i suck in it. Both verbally and literally. I have a flair in arts and a major crush on sports. I'm currently in Netball and to tell you the truth, my school's been thrashed loads of times. We dont practice much and we dont have the proper training, so yeah, currently, we suck.
Like any other person, I feel all sorta feelings. I get angry and sad. And obviously, one would mostly feel happy. Yes, I'm human. I talk about people, I help people, I laugh with people. The whole bloody world REVOLVES AROUND PEOPLE. So I'd understand when i feel like a loser on certain days. Cause i get talked about. But we can change this, if we feel empathy for one, we'd be in a whole lot better world.
Will continue my butt talk when i get home form school.
Thursday, March 12, 2009, 11:00 PM
iNTERNATIONAL 'IM'MA LOSER' DAY.
These days, its been really depressing and annoying. It's as if people are just poking sticks at you, making you hurt. They're calling you names, labelling you as they walk by. They're throwing swears and vulgarities at you like you're a game. They just do, cause they're people.
I learn to take it slowy, trying to retaliate as i go but thats not the answer cause people just make it harder that way.
So, please, i beg you. Stop being making a nuisance. Save your own time and breath, i won't tolerate it any further.
I'll just say the piece on my mind and make you go away.
Sunday, March 8, 2009, 7:50 PM
Shah, I miss you. And I miss you terribly.
You still owe me my birthday hug.
, 6:57 PM
Belinda.Yeah, we all talked about her.
And i know that my previous post about her has somehow caused some disturbance in her life. And i'm here not to apologize but to clear up all those misunderstandings i have with this girl.
Belinda, you know, sometimes it's fine to pass comments at people. But sometimes you just have to stop trying to fit in. You dont apologize for what you do and god, you think i will?
Have you noticed how much i find you loathsome? Its not because of you. I'm no racist. And I'd love to have a friend like you. But sometimes Belinda, when you say things that put others' impression on your face, you'd have to think.
It's not nice hearing you use words from some other religion. I believe it's wrong
. You dont see me saying, "Hallelujah
" after I win a race. You dont hear me swearing in chinese out loud in class
after my books dropped. I dont do that because i respect everyones' race and religion.
Its not wrong for you to use malay. I bet you'll pass if you sit for it, counting the number of times you use it. But honestly, hearing you say, "Ya Allah
" In class after you books fell and hearing you repeat it after you forgot something, it honestly made me want to shove your bloody mouth into that ass of yours. It was as if you were mocking the muslims.
Someone went to court for that kinda thing, okay. It's so bloody hell, irritating. Honestly. Since I'm your classmate, i tried talking to you and all but it seems whenever i look at you, those words keep on playing on and on and on and on. And the make up issue and skirt thing, I dont care anymore. It's your life, you make those decision. You can be Belinda, you can be a flirt, you can be a wanna-be, you can be a respectable person. It's you. So go ahead, decide who you'd want to be. Just know that you're not alone in this world and it does not revolve around you. And those people everywhere, they might get insulted.
I've made it short and simple.
Friday, March 6, 2009, 11:51 PM
Thanks Roy, for changing my picture (:Love you,my Hash-boy (:
, 9:58 PM
Hey, got my internet (:
Repairing my goddamn computer soon.
Laptop in use.
- I dropped my role as a councillor ( Have to admit, i miss it.)
- Currently handling 7 subs without a clue on which im allocated to.
- Had the most splendid birthday celebration ( Thank you guys loads.)
- LR's, erm, dead? Well, thats not exactly the right word to use.
- Roy got swore on by his mum ( Well, we'll stop together (: )
Life's been pretty normal and I'm doing okay i think.
I don't need dramas so i think the boring shits the best (:
Damn, i miss blogging.
Love you alot, mwah.