i may certainly not be the closest
to you, but i am still equally as worried for you as the rest. I hope my story will help you balm your pain and somehow armour you with my support.
The last time i cried so hard for a friend when their family member passed away, was in primary 4. It was for my best friend. Someone who was never the same colour or race. Her name was Hui Si. For all i know, we practically shared many things together, homework, problems, gossip, money and sometimes even clothes. She was the nicest person i could ever remember in primary school. She was the only person i could open up to then.
She would always tell me, "Diyanah, I love my granny,
" and smile. It was like she was sharing her grandmother with me, i kid you not. Every conversation with her would consist even the tiniest detail of her grandmother. I fell in love with this graceful figure that Hui Si kept talking about. I know that by that much, she cared and loved so much for her grandmother. As far as i could remember, it was all so sudden. The loss.
She didn't turn up for school and i found out the reason why. Her grandmother had passed away on that day. I cried that instant. It was as though, i was at loss too. It was as though i lost someone dear and close to me. I somehow managed to put myself in Hui Si's shoe and found myself dealing a huge blow. The graceful figure that i've been looking up to, the one that got me inspired and the one that has always been praised, all gone. I felt like i just lost someone i had known all my life, it was unbearable. I found myself crying for two whole days at the loss of someone i wasn't even in touch with. I was constantly reminded of my best friend. What a great deal she must have been going through, i thought to myself. I prayed to Allah to lessen the burden of my best friend because how it affected me, would have had a bigger impact on her. I kept praying to Allah every time and it paid off.
Because when she came back to school, I asked her well being and she replied me, saying that she wasn't exactly crushed to bits like how she expected herself to. She said she somehow handled the situation so positively and so well, she didn't know how it happened and it felt like somehow, someone had prayed for her.
After this experience, i truly believe that this is the work of god. I guess that everything that happens in life, is for a reason. Some need it as a lesson, some need it so that they get closer to their family. But in these times of crisis, the only thing you need to do, to pull through, is to allow yourself to get closer to god.
Allah itu maha penyayang, whatever happens, Allah akan sentiasa sayang hambanya. It was time that your grandfather served his years on earth and returned back to meet Allah. Take it positively, everyone will live to die.
Don't let your misery rule you, don't get yourself to think of his absence and fret over his loss but instead, think of what he has done to successfully establish your family tree and the happiness that has been shared between him and everyone else throughout all these years. If we are not strong enough to handle such loss, then we are not ready to receive further memories and new upcoming. You have to be strong my dear friend. These are part and parcel of life. Everyone would go through it, sooner or later. It's just a matter of how you handle it. Besides, if you're strong, you'll be there for everyone else. You'll be there for your mother and father. You'll be there for those who were the closest to your grandfather.
I hope you take this as a stepping stone to move on and think positively. Allow Allah into your heart and allow yourself accept these unwanted chapters of your life. I have lost someone before, so i would very much understand the pain that you are going through.
Now, i have played my part as a friend and i hope you have the courage to go through this obstacle. You have the support of your friends and family, so stay calm my friend :)
I'll pray for you and your family. I surely hope that you and your family will overcome this quickly and carry on with life.
Everything will be okay, you know how to reach me.
I love you Khid, take care.