221 post,

Pada semua umat Islam dan orang yang sedang ber`holiday`ing,

SELAMAT

HARI RAYA

HAJI!

Assalammualaikum.

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KNNBCCB. I miss my boyfriend.







Assalammualaikum.

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It's 3.27 a.m, and I'm currently chatting with Azrie who is fucking bored right now.

OMG! Adib's online. Ditching you for him, bye!

Assalammualaikum.

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I cant fugging get to sleep. I want to text and call Adib!

But i can't )':

Sigh, sigh, sigh.

I miss Adib. I miss Emilia. I miss school. I miss Hari Raya. I miss LR's day. I miss Syida. I miss Myra. I miss, i pretty much miss my old life. Those funfunfun and free moments. Now I'm always broke, grounded and always a bore.

Assalammualaikum.

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We caught the Raging Phoenix, a thai action movie instead of our desired, Paranormal Activity because PA was only showing at 9.50pm. Fantat betul -.-
















We dropped off at Orchard for Y to meet his friend at Uniqlo. I think Syafiq was trying to aply for a job? *Clueless* Then train'ed to Dhoby for the movie. Heard Khidhir was angry, sighsigh, sorry Khidhir)':















Before the movie, Y and Adib go hungry and they ate at New York Pizza.
Cheese fries! And Y's erm, weird-smelling-kerepoktaste-fries! I didn't eat because Mira and Fira didn't )':

Mira is such a bully, she totally bullies people. Especially towards Adib! She was so mean, she said, "Can you just shut the fuck up?" to Adib and then laughed. Thank god it was a joke, and it wasn't on me. I would have given Mira my signature face and sulked the whole day.




We caught the Raging Phoenix, a thai action movie instead of our desired, Paranormal Activity because PA was only showing at 9.50pm. Fantat betul -.-
The show started at 5.20 p.m and ended at around 7.10 p.m. It was, erm, okay. OKAY ONLY. Just the, "HAIIIYAAAAAAAK!" action that thrilled. It's overall, a stup movie. Not recommended.





Got on the train home with everyone else at about 7.30 p.m. It was still early but Miramiramira wanted to go home and I wasn't spirited enough to go elsewhere.

Adib and Y dropped off at Khatib, oh, Adib NEVER TOLD ME WHERE HE WAS HEADING TO. I only realized it when i got home and didn't know where he was )':

I got home at 8.20 p.m. Thank god, "Sister" was a good excuse, because i would have gotten nagged at as my brother was giving my daddy some issues and Razak, wasn't happy at all. Jelly said she's rather me go up then stay and wait for her. So i went home.

Caught Singapore Idol, I REALLY WISH TABITHA AND CHARLES WOULD GET ELIMINATED. Faster move on to the last two!!


Assalammualaikum.

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Happy

21st

Birthday,

Muhammad

Syazwan

a.k.a

Wawan Soap!

(26/11/1988)




I read your NS note, longlong ago. When you first published it on facebook.
I cried when I read it. And when I read your other post, and i cried again. Ya ya, gembeng.

Dear Uncle Wawan, I really want to tell you how much I miss chatting with you, having you to entertain me at night when every other loser on my contact list has gone to bed. Since you've been there, serving the country, you've learn pretty much, a lot. And it's truly inspiring.

While there's plenty of other girls stalking and surrounding you on net, I sincerely would like to thank you for being there for me, and also trying to be a role model. No matter who I might be in your eyes, I'd still hope that your promise to take care of your darling adik, would never be forgotten.

You've been a pleasant company and a concerned elder, I hope your birthday will be filled with joy.

I love and miss you, Pakcik Sabun.

Semoga Allah sentiasa melindungi and murahkan rezeki, amin.

Wawan Soap's Note On National Service:

"When you're in a big auditorium with male shaven heads in a small reclamation land, awaiting to be instruct.
This scene is either hell or army.
Everyone's looks half alive, mostly dead. My mind is, I don't know where yet, but let's just say that the new clock has started ticking.Time set to serve the national service.

Everyone has different opinion on national service.
Everyone just wants to serve and not gaining anything from it. With a year and ten months in their hands, I'm going to make full use of it. I don't want to waste my time.
I can see a lot of "wayang" people already. Attention. That's what everyone is seeking.

What I tell myself is that be mentally prepared, but i know im physically not.
In the first few weeks, I can't cope well with the schedule. Muscle aching everywhere. No time to recover.
Maybe I'm not used to it.
My mind says "Let's Go!", while my body replies "Fuck You".
The commanders keep reminding us
"Endure! you are future leaders to be".
"Where got shagged?"
I reply with a stoned face. Stoned shagged face.

Jump back to months before national service. I still remember the times when my mother always pester me to go jogging. At least, train up a bit of your stamina. Nope. I did not listen. This is what you get for your stubbornness.

It feels like you wanna sneak out of the company line and get on the fast craft back home to Singapore.
Hide inside a turtle shell and never want to go out.

Give me a ticket out of here.
I cannot take it anymore.
Give me some invisibility cloak.
I really cannot take it anymore.
I keep telling myself. I don't deserve this.
No Way Out.
Now I feel like a pussy.

FAMILY

Lonely. I was feeling lonely. Probably, it's the effect of breaking up with someone that you have been for too long.
When I was in a relationship, I really didn't bother much about my family. Treating my house like a hotel.
Checking in and out. Free food. Free shelter. That's how fucked up it is. You only want to give your fullest attention to her. I was having a bit of mental breakdown when I broke up.

Week 3. I suffered a minor back injury which caused me to received 3 days status. Meaning "No Pt". You have to watch pathetically while others train. suffer together. I realize that I'm not going to survive if i keep being injured. I need to train hard. When the 3 days have passed, on the first day, it was Speed Training.

The injury returned.
My backbone feels like its going to break.
Honestly, in this type of situation, i rarely cry. But I did. I cried. Its been years since i cried.
My section mates gathered around me. Trying to cheer me up. I feel seriously like a small kid who lost its way.
I called up home. Mom picked up. I broke down again. Telling her how disappointed I was with myself.
Her words of comfort. It made me realize how my family were always there to support me. They were always there for me.
It was only me. I was stupidly slow to notice after these years. I was depressed that I had to watch my company train while I did nothing.
They were putting in much effort. I don't want to be sitting here. I dont want to be looking like a "keng".

Words of advice: Family is will always be family. Your girlfriends, ex or either friends wont be there for you forever.
Value your family.

The 7 SAF CORE VALUE.
Loyalty to country. Leadership. Discipline. Professionalism. Fighting Spirit. Ethics. Care for soldiers

Field camp.
I can summarize the experience by expressing in a minimum number of words.
8km March. I almost died there. Struggled.
Luckily, there was my platoon to help me out.
Shell scrape. Hours of digging.
Raining. Muddy. Wet. Cold. Tired. Shagged. Can't Sleep.
Lit up a fire. Gather some people.
Complaining how cold the weather is.

Punishment.
Leopard crawled in the mud.
Jumping Jacks in the mud
Push ups in the mud.
Crunches in the mud.
More and more mud.
And it's like they want us to love the mud so much. Interact with the mud. Make love with it.

The letter during field camp.
I cried again. Holding on the letter with small colorful drawn heart shapes.
I miss my family. I miss my niece and nephews. Those small kids. Cuteness.

This is how our lives were supposed to turn out.
You will realize how much it will change your bloody life.
They put us in a situation where we are homeless with no loved ones.
Like the song goes "With my rifle and buddy and me"
I feel like I was in the war. Surviving. Defending our country.
The forest feels like the devastation of wars.
The broken roots. Fallen trees. Lonely leaves.
Imagine if those were destroyed buildings. Lost of loved ones. Lonely souls.

That's when I realize that I need to step up.
I need to endure.
I need to work hard.
I want to prove to myself.
I need to protect my love ones.
I can't be in this status mode if I want to defend them.
What if there was actually a war, am I going to runaway?
There is certain rules that must keep in mind
Not the rules about being fair and honest.
Rules about protecting your family from poverty and disease.

Who I was before national service is just a story now.
Everything before now, before now, is just a story I carry around. I guess that would apply to anybody in the world.
What I need is a new story about who I am. I am a soldier. I am here to protect my loved ones. I am here to defend my country. "

Assalammualaikum.

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Apple Pie - $0.80 [Fucking delicious]

Block.

Oh, i finally got my free drinks from Burger King.

Asyik rambut, rambut, rambut je.

Khusyuk, playing some jewel game on Adib's phone.

Met HANIS, ADY and ROY at Sembawang. Met them for awhile. I was sad and frustrated when i left to go t Yishun because they kept insisting that i stay. But i couldn't, i wished you guys understood. I mean like, i know it has been awhile, but i had plans. I promise, there'll be a next time. Rushed to meet Adib because he texted, "Baby, i changed and everything already tau! Where are you?!" I panicked seminit then got in the train to Yishun. Met Adib then Syafiq. Saw manymany big boobs, so Adib claimed. && saw Zaki, hahahaa, the hair, fuyoh. Went home after a few hours. Got to devour into apple pie that Mummy bought or $0.80, it's effing delicious and cheap man!

Oh, my double decker bed had finally arrived. It reeks of fresh wood and is effing huge. Makes the room look so cramped. But at least I don't need to worry about sleeping on the floor anymore. Yay yay!

Oh, I'm bummed that i cannot celebrate Feeqah's birthday with the rest because they agreed on Saturday and I only knew it TODAY, walao. I was looking foward to NOTHING. Thanks uh. I planplanplan, plan what to wear somemore! PFFT. Whatever uh. Then, that stupid assholic Emilia, think she's winning some competition in Malaysia by not coming home. Eeergh, I'm so ANGRY!!!!


Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's movie date with Mira and Hanis. Roy's working too, so, I'm so excited to get to go out with two of the best people on earth.


Assalammualaikum.

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I can't sleep.
Adib's going to kill me if he finds out I didn't turn in for the night.

I'm bored, at 3a.m.

I've been bloghopping and facebooking. I need to sleep.
Let me fall asleep?


It's been 14 days since I got into a relationship, I feel, for once, i sincerely believe that i don't need to say much to say that I'm happy. We've dated for almost three months. & i hope it gets better and stays that way. I hope my initiative, by calling you and texting you everyday ain't bothersome. Because I believe you miss me too!

Adib Syahiraaaaaaan, has been nothing but a big gundu.
Ugh, see lah, now I'm impatiently waiting for Tuesday.











Need to sleep, gotta sleep.
Logging of blogger and the net, for good.


Assalammualaikum.

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I feel like a HIPPO nowadays.
My face got as round as a ball.


I miss LR. Miss them the most, besides boyfriend. Who I have not met since movie date on Wednesday.

Been literally rotting at home. Waching telly, eating, sleeping. I started jogging again! Heheh, but this time, it aint a breeze, i felt like i was killing myself. Seriously, i was out of breath and i'd start stopping after every 20 minutes. SIGH.
Glutton's a punishment.

If you'd look closer, you'd notice my hair! It's long and, erm reddish brown. Ugh, stupid 3E3.


I hope my movie date with Hanis and Mira works out. Can't wait for another free movie actually. Khid! Heheheh.


Gotta sleep man, I've been waking up early and sleeping late. INSOMNIAAAAAA, for once, i feel like crying because i want to sleep!
I've gotta watch the girls' netball friendly tomorrow, have to. Have to!


Till my next post, lovelove.
Assalammualaikum.

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Gosh, i thought she would sound different by the way she talked. She's good (:




Anyhoos,



Happy

15th

Birthday

Baby girl!


There's so many things I wish to speak to you about. Things about us, you and many other things. I hope you fcuking take the bus back to Singapore now.
I miss you a lot Emilia!

Now that you're older, I pray that you be more sensible. Don't judge a book by it's cover. Lessen your nonsense. Strengthen your relationship with others, especially your poor boyfriend. Talk more sense. Start studying instead of thinking of unicorns. Chase Crawford and Alex Evans ain't coming to get you so treasure that small peanut. Please, before you start doing things, think. And put yourself in someone else's shoes before you open your mouth to speak or if there was ever a thought to hate.

I hope, that after being with me for almost 7 years, you'd start opening your eyes, mind and soul.
Don't just think that you're 15, and you'd need to make your own decisions. You're always making them hastily. You've got me to help you make one. Though I may not be any older, I believe you'd need someone close to you. I'm always here.

I love you so much Emilia, prove to me that you'll change.
Don't break hearts, mwah.

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Happy

15th

Birthday,

Aizat!


My brother from another mother.
*Laughs and gags*


I LOVE YOU A LOT, BABI.
Fcuker, you better stop bullying me.




Hope you had fun being stupid and retarded today,
insyallah, your future's gonna be awesome.
Have a great birthday!

Ps. Don't put in high hope's on that birthday present.
*WINKWINK*









14th

Birthday,

Kaliesa!


Happy Birthday honey! Apparently, your birthday falls on the same day as my best friend, up there!

Stay pretty babe (:







Assalammualaikum.

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Dear Khid,

i may certainly not be the closest to you, but i am still equally as worried for you as the rest. I hope my story will help you balm your pain and somehow armour you with my support.

The last time i cried so hard for a friend when their family member passed away, was in primary 4. It was for my best friend. Someone who was never the same colour or race. Her name was Hui Si. For all i know, we practically shared many things together, homework, problems, gossip, money and sometimes even clothes. She was the nicest person i could ever remember in primary school. She was the only person i could open up to then.

She would always tell me, "Diyanah, I love my granny," and smile. It was like she was sharing her grandmother with me, i kid you not. Every conversation with her would consist even the tiniest detail of her grandmother. I fell in love with this graceful figure that Hui Si kept talking about. I know that by that much, she cared and loved so much for her grandmother. As far as i could remember, it was all so sudden. The loss.

She didn't turn up for school and i found out the reason why. Her grandmother had passed away on that day. I cried that instant. It was as though, i was at loss too. It was as though i lost someone dear and close to me. I somehow managed to put myself in Hui Si's shoe and found myself dealing a huge blow. The graceful figure that i've been looking up to, the one that got me inspired and the one that has always been praised, all gone. I felt like i just lost someone i had known all my life, it was unbearable. I found myself crying for two whole days at the loss of someone i wasn't even in touch with. I was constantly reminded of my best friend. What a great deal she must have been going through, i thought to myself. I prayed to Allah to lessen the burden of my best friend because how it affected me, would have had a bigger impact on her. I kept praying to Allah every time and it paid off.

Because when she came back to school, I asked her well being and she replied me, saying that she wasn't exactly crushed to bits like how she expected herself to. She said she somehow handled the situation so positively and so well, she didn't know how it happened and it felt like somehow, someone had prayed for her.
After this experience, i truly believe that this is the work of god. I guess that everything that happens in life, is for a reason. Some need it as a lesson, some need it so that they get closer to their family. But in these times of crisis, the only thing you need to do, to pull through, is to allow yourself to get closer to god.

Allah itu maha penyayang, whatever happens, Allah akan sentiasa sayang hambanya. It was time that your grandfather served his years on earth and returned back to meet Allah. Take it positively, everyone will live to die.

Don't let your misery rule you, don't get yourself to think of his absence and fret over his loss but instead, think of what he has done to successfully establish your family tree and the happiness that has been shared between him and everyone else throughout all these years. If we are not strong enough to handle such loss, then we are not ready to receive further memories and new upcoming. You have to be strong my dear friend. These are part and parcel of life. Everyone would go through it, sooner or later. It's just a matter of how you handle it. Besides, if you're strong, you'll be there for everyone else. You'll be there for your mother and father. You'll be there for those who were the closest to your grandfather.

I hope you take this as a stepping stone to move on and think positively. Allow Allah into your heart and allow yourself accept these unwanted chapters of your life. I have lost someone before, so i would very much understand the pain that you are going through.

Now, i have played my part as a friend and i hope you have the courage to go through this obstacle. You have the support of your friends and family, so stay calm my friend :)

I'll pray for you and your family. I surely hope that you and your family will overcome this quickly and carry on with life.

Everything will be okay, you know how to reach me.
I love you Khid, take care.




Assalammualaikum.

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My throats rusty and my nose is runny.
Oh, oh, and my ears, they get congested easily, feels like im under water.

Today, Yan made me lose my mood.
I was questioning about our movie date on Wednesday
andandand, eergh. Like that like we quarreled ..
Butbut, I slept on my frustrations and ate. So I'm fine (:
Can't wait to meet you! ^^




Went to Johore Bahru on Sunday.
Was okay I guess, it's been like forty years since I've gone to JB with my family.
OUH, MUMMY TREATED US, AND SHE WAS SO CUTE ON THAT DAY.
Did i tell you i had to ditch Yan and Ashhy for it?
Bby was so pissed at me that he used, "Yea whatever." on me.
GILABABIANGRYSIOLSZXXX.









I don't know what to do anymore, as in, the holidays.
I'm always stuck at home.
Reading Jodi Picoult or watching the telly.
Woah, sounds like I'm beginning to attain the "No Life" label.

Oh, the book got wet during the sentosa trip so it's wrinkly ):
Sorry bby!





I'm planning to go ETP next two weeks. Andand, go camwhore with LR. Andand, oh, I'll be going swimming tmr. Damn, I should go out more, shop more, meet people more, go for netball, exercise and stop eating at home. Glutton's a punishment.

Oh! Bby, guess what my cousin bought when they came to visit my granny today?
Papaya and watermelon!
Hahaha, i think they read your mind!
Hahahaha!!!




Assalammualaikum.

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