This was on Sunday, i had planned to study with Ashhy and some others. I ended up getting irritated and i stormed off Sembawang. Met some slenges who acted like serious slenges. Then i found out there's cotton on and yishun and woodlands. Damn, i'm so slow -.-"
Afterwhich, i met Yan. Had thought i could slack, but we ended up going to city hall. He wanted to collect something. Met Hannan and err, Tzu-Ming. [Ini nama kena ada hyphen, hua, hua :p] Yayyay, Now i got their names right (: One word, tiring.
We ended up waiting the whole day for it.
(Oh, oh, lupe, itu kawan, Ming, handsome tak bedek.)
I got home at 1 plus in the morning, and guess what, i got stripped of my idle time after school everyday till after EOY. Haiyakkk.
I cried a whole lot today. I feel so frustrated. Fuck you, those who think this is some other emo post on some bitch's blog.
For once, i really tried to erase that line that has always been between us. Seems like you won't stop your nonsense. I really have no idea of what you really want because I don't know you anymore. It's just us having a label stuck on each other but we're not fulfilling what's supposed to be done. I hate you. I really think I do. Three times, and three times in three fucking years, you took me for granted. Who am i to you right now? Just someone you'd just pick out when life's not going great for you? Or some girl you can just play mind games with when you're bored or take me as a spare tyre?
I've had enough. Don't try to smile at me and think that's going to make me forgive you. Don't try to make up conversations and act as if nothing happened between us and nothing exists for me. Aku manusia juga, penuh dengan perasaan. I hate you.
How can you even try to inverse in a conversation with me and tell me it was nothing. She was nothing. There was nothing. And you bloody said nothing. Then you fucking promise me this, tell me that and do another. I'm not stupid, i am effing not stupid. And don't laugh, it was never funny.
I was so stupid, waiting for what, i dont bloody hell know what i was bloody waiting for. I never could've blamed you. I thought the whole time it was me. I defended you against everyone else. What did i get in return? I got a break-up with a brilliant guy. I had my relationship with some many others broken.
I give up, this time, i really give up on you. I give up on trying to make it happen. I give up waiting. I give up helping you. I give up trying to be nice to you. I give up. I bloody give up on you.
To hell with our bloody attitude which will NEVER change. To hell with you and your girlfriend. To hell with you smiles. To hell with your act of innocence. To hell with you and all my memories of you.
I hope you will get to feel everything that i have endured for the past three years. I hope life would suck for you for three years. I hope those people, those weird people who could only see one in misery, would throw all the criticism and accuse you. I wish and pray that one day, you freaking felt what i felt, you'd change. And till
that day when you realise how much i was worth, you'll come back and apologize. But i promise you, i will never ever be there for you again, ungrateful bastard.
For all those tears i cried for you today, fuck it. I aint going to cry another shit for you. Aku sumpah, lepas ni, aku tak kenal kau lagi. Aku benci kau. BENCI.
Ya Allah, forgive me, but i really wished he'd feel what i felt. Only then, he'll learn.
I don't know how much i can endure any longer. Feels like nothings normal anymore.
This was when all of us were sitting, waiting for the 'minta-maaf' (??) session to begin. [Ystd]
Now's like the second day, and everyone's slacking at home. Raya sucks this year, but i'm trying to be all enthu about it. The 'minta-maaf' session with parents ystd was awkward like always.
Like Hanis said, everyone does shit every year. I just want normal back, wait, i meant, normal to my standards. I dont even get what i'm trying to say. POINT IS, RAYA IS MEANT FOR EVERYONE TO START ANEW, FORGIVE AND FORGET. I HOPE EVERYONE'S TRYING, CAUSE I SURE AM.
Anyway, happy birthday to Myra again. Yay, ade duit raya. Now can go buy things. HEHEHEH.
I'm going to meet Syahiran tmr. Yeah? (??) Let's go have lunch together. Go catch a movie or something. Idk. Thenthen we have dinner together also. Hahaha, see, makan TWICE! Haha. Can't wait to meet you, I miss you uh gundu.
You know, when i grow up, i want to be able to hypnotize people. Me and Emy have totally thought about this, only that, she wants it as a job and mine, just as a skill or an experience. I know, ultra lame. I really want to hypnotize people!
I met Gandi two days ago, he said the George Bush's dying next week. Tune in the news okay. And he said that Nathan's getting married to Siti Nurhaliza next month. Okay, crap. I'm just so bored.
Did i tell you i dyed my hair? The colour's like not there. %^#&%#$!$!#&%*%^%@! Bummer.
Okay, i'm so lazy to upload te rest of the pictures. Now, I'm going to help myself with some more kuih raya.
I want to upoad my pictures, all those wonderful pictures but this laptop's giving me an attitdude. Ugh, what the hell. Takpe, Hari Raya, i forgive you. SOBSOB.
I'm starting to get excited for Hari Raya. I can't wait for raya sessions with the clan.
I got myself a red/maroon kebaya at the bazaar, damn fucked up. The kain for the skirt's like one kain burok. Syahiran pointed that out on Friday night, thank you uh! (I was sarcastic) Then i got one nonya kebaya which was picked out by my sister. It's so, erm, old looking. It's yellow with the green batik skirt. Like so tuaaaaaaaa, huak huak. But yay! At least i got something.
Today, collection, erm, okay i guess. Overall, it was nice to see my family, but it was ultra boring. I camwhored a lot i tell you. After entertaining, I slept after mahgrib, woke up at 9 and everyone went home after that.
Shaqilah! You took my hairband! That holds sentimental value to me! You could've taken the other one, or asked me! Hehehe, i'll take it back when i see you and buy you another one.
Ugh, tkde picture, not syiok. I'll post some other time laaa. Tak sukenye aku! HMPHHMPH. Laptop, you so jahat. I'm going to switch you off for one whole day! ONE WHOLE DAY TAU. Perangai kaaan, amek kau!
I don't wish to argue with you, you or you. Anna macam nak give up kawan ngan korang. Tak baik tau bebual pasal orang. Jangan bebual blakang Anna please, klau ade masalah, datang jumpe. Nanti susah.
Tapi takpe, Anna tak nak hilang kawan pasal, korang la yang ade bile mase raye last year. Anna nak MINTA MAAF. Atas sume la yang dah berlaku. Anna brani sumpah, Anna bukan orang gitu, Anna mulut tatawu diam bukan nak sakitkan hati orang. Anna betul rindu sama korang, nak sangat bebual nan korang macam time dulu-dulu. Anna dah malas nak gaduh-gaduh ini semua. No benefit, tau. Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih (Amcm, melayu Anna improve tak? ^^) Tapi klau taknak berkawan semula, terpulang la, Anna sumpah Anna dah ak kenal korang lagy selepas ini. So, harap-harap, kite okay.
Did i tell you i took my I/C photo. Muka macam pantat ayam, huakk.
Today's the last day of the fasting month. Tomorrow, it'll be Hari Raya. I'm still not ready. I don't have the Hari Raya feel. Booboo. Ugh, i shall not be a spoiler though, cause i can't wait for my jalan raya session with everyone else.
Alhamdullilah syukor for everyone who has made it full for this year's fast. Ramadhan's over but that doesn't mean our practices stop right? Insyaallah, with everyone continuing, Syawal will be made into a wonderful month ((:
But for now, the thought of fasting month being over, we can now eat in public. Yayyay! Now's the time all the ladies berglamour with their nine inch heels, overload make up and fitting kebayas while the guys wear their songkok, samping with their bajus tucked out and smoking while waiting for their glamour girls to hurry up and walk faster while trying to balance themselves.
Uhh, yes, Hari Raya's a very happy and glorious occasion. This includes the joy of receiving those small packets, the size of not more bigger than a palm but worth of it is overbearing. Hahah, kaching! Hua, hua, hua.
Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslims! (: Hope tomorrow will be the most joyous occ for all.
Today, i went to school! Like finally since the last two days. I had an eye infection. Not serious though. Recovering (:
School was awesome, the fact that it'll be a school holiday on Monday, i'm so excited. I was so excited for Mother Tongue lesson because MT's ALWAYS fun, we ALWAYS do somethin and there's ALWAYS a joke to look forward to. Today, we tried to wear the samping. Ashhy and Aizat were both the models. Hahah, it was super fun.
And today, alhamdullilah i got Emy and Feeqah to accompany me to Geylang! (: Yayyay. Best tau jalan-jalan sebelum buka. Selepas, erm, different story.
After school went home and got ready for Geylang. Went out at about 4. Fetched Emy and met Feeqah at the MRT station. Train`ed to Geylang.
We walked around the nearest bazaars first before buka. It wasnt directly packed at first. Then at about 620, i was like, "Omg, eh faster walk, KFC pack sia at this time."Of course la pack, Singaporeans all kanchiong what.
Nothing much to say because Geylang is like mothafcukinglosers this year. Fuck Geylang for every single shitty outfit. I was so frustrated while searching for ONE bloody kebaya. Stupid shit. From 7 all the way till 950, me and Emy combed the whole of Geylang tau! Just for one kebaya. Feeqah went home at 830. I finally just walked into one sideshop and randomly picked one kebaya. I thought it was shit.
After buying, me and Emy took the train. Emy went home at about 11. I went to Khatib to meet Syafiq, Jalil and Syahiran. Ugh, i was like so tired. My legs were aching. I was sooooooooooo effing tired. Booboo.
Okay, ignore my face here. I look like one ape.
Hahah, Syafiq macam GIRL.
We talked and stuff. Did i tell you that there were two small boys playing with fire at the playground behind us? Okay, those kids, they played with fire and at around 1140+, they got caught by this man who claims he lives nearby. Then while the 2 small boys were reprimanded, Jalil and Syafiq go menyampok and stand around them. Hahaha, slengers. I got so tired and Syafiq was about to go home so at 1220+, i called my daddy to pick me up from there. Anak kesayangan whaaaaat (:
Reached at around 140 and bathed. Showed my ugly kebaya to family and wanted to blog. But like i've said, i was so tired, I SLEPT.
Okay, Tomorrow's the last day of puasa. Perservere people!
Mommy said, "Dian, no more profanity." Change is not good for me.
This is Aizat Tajuddin Rohizad, my friend, my family, my bully and the person i'd always want to sit next to. I love Aizat.
Mommy said, "Dian, say it again and i'll selaaaaaaaaap you!" Apparently, swearing is no good in my house. I had said, "Ugh, cheeeeeeeeeeeeeee***. Eff, Mommy my buttock pain sey!" And deserved the wonderful naggings. Being reprimanded, instead, i ended up thinking about this Aizat i have mentioned.
Never has a day gone by without his mouth spouting nonsense and all that vulgarities piercing through my ears. Suddenly, he says, "Anna, maybe nanti raye, aku takde tau." That was during class BBQ. And i went, "Fuck, kau takmu mepek la, Zat." And i broke off in tears.
Aizat, i know you won't, don't say you will. I love you okay, kau mcm family. Syg kau banyakbanyak. Nanti, takde orang nak kacau aku pat skola. Sobsob.
Today during the recess assembly, i started singing Kantoi. Hahaha. Omg, the song reminded me of someone, i dont know who. You know, these few days, i've been singing Hush Hush and Nobody in the toilet when i shower. I'm so deprived of something. I want to buy Kate Spade's wallet, hua hua, if only i was a millionaire's daughter. Mumblebabble.
I'm meeting Yan tmr. Yay yay :DDDD If i'm too sick, i need to rest at home. Aiyo, get better Anna! Syg, if not we wait for Phobia2 next week kay?
I'm sick, did i tell you i was sick? I'm sick. UGH, MY EYES HURT. I feel awful. I think thisis retribution since i made fun of syg when he got sick. Haiyahaiya.
I'm going to rest, i feel so awful, mcm nak mampos. Boo boo.
I love you, untuk orang yang setia membaca blog Anna. Hua hua, mwahmwah. Continue membaca okay? Heh (:
Okay, here's the post about yesterday's Geylang outing. Photobucket's a darling, love it. The journey began when i went to Em's house to pick her up. Aftewhich we moved off to take the train to Yishun because we had thought we were late. Syafiq told us to meet him at 4, we arrived a few minutes after 4 and guess what, we were EARLY man. Khidhir reached at about 420+. And i was like, "Uh, now we waiting for who uh?" And they were like, "YOUR SYG UH!" Hahah, that gundu arrived late. We met Mira at City Hall and trained to Paya Lebar. It was not packed, YET. Then we waited cause it was still early and prepared for buka at KFC. Met Shafiq, Korosan, Ein, Farn and this person who i only know as, Nizam? Uhuh. Then we bazaared.
Syg aku, huakk. Handsome kan? Tawu. :D
Syafiq, erm, cute la gitu.
We went to BarangBarang till buka.
Preparing for buka at KFC.
-.- Khid, kenapa muka macam gitu?
Em baby (((:
Alahai, cute right?! Heheh, si pendek ituuuuu.
Okay, that's it for the time being, am to lazy to upload anymore. I miss you, Syahiran! Pfft.
-This superwoman is like, fcuking awesome. She's like super effing good, i've watched so many of her videos, she's ugh, bagus banget!
[This space was supposedly for the pictures i could've uploaded if it wasn't for blogger's cookies being deleted]
Gosh, BLOGGER BENGAP BITCH BASKET BAKOL. I can't upload pictures, someone deleted the cookies. It must have been my darling brother. Geylang`ed with some people yesterday. Overall, it was enjoyable enough. I saw this kebaya I think i'm buying, woah, first glance je mcm dah tawu nak beli. Huakk. Family's planning to buy the same colour this year, but i doubt so because we NEVER agree on the same colour. Ala, i want to post pictures, i want to caption all of it. I'm so lazy to upload it in facebook. Wait till my blogger's not a bitch.
Debate's in a exactly about 2 hours. I'm going to have to reach outside of school in approximately 25 minutes. I just had my shower. Gosh, i hope everyone's ready. Though i wont be doing much, i am nervous. I guess it's because i'm hoping our school would win. They're prepared and they commited their whole week for this. Win or lose, it'll be their experience. Just like poetry slam last year (:
Ugh, going to meet these people in a few minutes.
Almost 650 and i'm just in my towel. I have yet to iron my uniform. Bummer. Daddy said he'll bring me shopping after the festival. And my sister promised me something else. I hope i get it done. I want my holidays now.
I'll post pictures on the event when i get back.
Bye, bye, bye, chi byes :D Huakk.
OH, I MISS LR. I MISS LFD. I MISS AIZAT. I MISS DD. It's 7 btw, gtg.
This was when i skipped school. Oh so long ago. I made paper cranes in the library. Today sucked. I hate today.
I promise i'll love tmr because i know great things awaits me then. I'll be meeting Iyan tmr like finally. Ugh, geylang, wait for me okay. I'll come to you soon. Wednesday i guess, since i'm meeting the kecik! Haha, i want to settle my stomach down with apam balik and all the food. And and, omg, the atmosphere. Ugh, cant wait. Okay, Syafiq said thursday, 10th? But that's SHAH'S BDAY. Hahaha. Wth.
Debate's tmr, i'm so excited. I don't have my tie. Wtv. I LOVE LITERATURE FESTIVAL! Only this and not Lit. Heh.
Okay, till the next post then.
Ps. Wawan, i know you're very old and sarcastic. I think you'd make a wonderful grandfather.
Today, i woke up late for school. And i didnt attend it. I went to the hospital to pick Granny up. Missed buka time with dear schoolmates. I love Epal.
Overall, i went to the hospital to take my grandmother who just got discharged. She slept for like the whole time i was there. I broke myfast later than everyone else, at 8 plus because i had to take care of some issues with my Granny. She's fine, alhamdullilah. Got home on my dad's bike. Missed gathering with Aizat and gang. I really regretted it la. But when i wanted to come over, he told me everyone was about to go home already. He was like effing reprimanding me. I got so upset that i hung up and went home straight from the hospital. Overall, today sucked but it was fine. Irony.
I kinda just hung up the phone with Roy and Syafiq. Haiyaaaaak, both gila called me to talk about the tagger. Hahah, kecoh. I miss Syafiq laaaa! He always makes me laugh. Miss him so much. Hehe, lepas puasa peluk dia ketatketat biar makin kecik, huakk :B Sorry babes, i dont know who it is too, you know. Don't get frus over this, i dont think it really matters cause you know people tend to do these things. Not that i'm on UB's side. It's a fact, just don't bother wasting our time on them :D
Izzati asked me for blogshop links awhile ago. And we ended up talking about raya and dendengs. Omg, i'm so excited for Hari Raya. Really! Harapharap raya mcm mase dahulu (: Ugh. Bestbest. I'm soooo going to geylang.
-Izzati. says: "hahahahaahahaa. no lah. not about the duit lah. about the semangat n environment sume. dgn baju raya, kasut tinggi, beg baru, jalan ramai2. kn very glamour-glamour gitu. hehehee. I LOIKE !!"
I totaly agree with her! Mama! Nak raye besok boleh?! Huakk :D
Ini muka macam cina boy.
-Wawan. says: " have u blog about me?"
-Anna. says: " Nope (:"
-Wawan. says: "okay new topic can blog"
This old man, sabun pantat fab - Wawan :D Step mane nye important je kene blog, huakk. Hee hee hee :) Been chatting with him, he keeps calling me small kid and pendek, UGH, I'm not a small kid okay, Wawan. Say again, i selaaaaaaaaaap youu huh. Dia tu, free sangat because he's waiting for NS. So please, kalau kenal dia, ajak keluar gy minum milo (: Heehee, can't wait to see him bald! Later like ahpek at coffee shop. Wawan Wawan, tsktsk. I'm enjoying his company :D
Alamak, i've just noticed something. I've been blogging differently. Suddenly, i'm blogging much more often and the way i present it, it's so primary school. Haha, fantat betul.
Mungkin, cerita ini sudah lama ramai lupakan. Ye lah, ramai orang sibuk dengan hal sendiri. Dorang takde masa buat Anna. Anna tahu, Anna takkan dapat hasil apapun dari menulis begini. Anna cume nak dorongan kawan, kasih sayang. Ape la kekurangan Anna? "Ini salah, inin betul." , "Tak boleh cakap gitu, tak boleh buat gini." Gasak je la eh.
Maybe I never admitted that after all these while, I might still love you. In my mind, my head, my actions, I keep tellig myself, it's over, it's done. I never spared a thought for myself. I am not living to please others and follow their thoughts. Though my life revolves around everyone else, it is me who feels it in the end.
I spent the whole day at home, thinking of how i was going to pick myself up. I didn't give myself a chance. Maybe i felt that i cried too much that i couldn't bare to cry anymore or that i couldn't cry anymore. For that whole day, i felt pathetic, i felt like a loser. It went on periodically. I just made myself shut up. I felt as if everyone got sick and tired of me speaking of you. Everyday, just you. Mungkin agaknye, i kept quiet that's why i was reminded of you.
Sekarang, dah lain citenye. Anna rase Anna dah move on pon. Mmg tak patut la Anna ingatkan si dia tu pade mase tu, Anna minat sangat agaknye itu time, heh. Dah cite lame la kan? :D Anna tahu you dah lame move on, itu you punya pasal. Anna dah berubah la, tak mcm kekasih you yang lain.
Sekarang, Anna nak bilang korang sume, Anna dah ta sayangkan Hasroy lagi la.Anna dah tak cinte, tak sayang and dah tak kesah tentang hal dia sume tu, kay. Dia tu dah happy dgn girlfriend dia. Anna pon happy ade kekasih sendiri :D Anna nak sume orang tahu.
Jangan nak sembarang kentut pat luar psl hal peribadi Anna. Korang ni takde hak langsung. Jgn nk masuk campur ngan hal Anna okay, jgn step tahu. Kepade pompanpompan dan lakilaki yang suke nah bebual burok pasal Anna, takyah bebual blakang kay? Klao brani sgt, berterus terang je dpn muke Anna, tak psl. Tolong la, Anna tak benci sapesape pon okay? Klao dorang nak kutuk, nak mengumpat, dosa dorang sendiri. Mulut semue takde insurance, nak kene chilli uh mulut, hehe :D Abeh mate pun maintain uh please. Takmo stare orang satu badan. Ape, stare dapat makan pe? Kirekan klao stare pat Anna fierce uh gitu, cool uh? Sorry sket, biar Anna ketawe dulu. Klao suke sangat ngan Anna, amek je la gambar. TAHAN LEBIH LAMA, takyah nak susah payah tengokkan orang. Tengokkan orang takle relek plak tuh, prangai mau lebih. Tengokkn orang lagy uh, nnt Anna cucuk mate you ngan chopstick huh, baru tahu! Hehe :D
Amacam, minahspeak Anna bagus tak? Hehe. MACAM P.
[ I just wish you could open up to someone it doesn't have to be me but open up and cry cause it would make you feel better even tho it doesn't change anything, it helps. you can count on me. ily! (: - Syida ]
Thank you babe, because of you, i posted this. Lyt slenge (:
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